xiaob, my beloved doggy left me, left my brother left the entire family on 8th March 2011. The heart cant stop aching, the tears cant stop flowing. I miss you so fucking much.

It was an accident. an accident which could be prevented if everyone of us in the family was more careful and thoughtful my sweetheart...... got choked by a fruit which he snatched from the table. he struggled to puke out and by the time my brother digged out the damn fucking fruit, hes weak and leaving. - my heart was..... totally hurt.


My sweetheart, which i got last closest contact with left me. if i could make the decision to visit my aljunied grandma on that god damn fucking tuesday , he would not have left me. I brought him down to play, he was happy. I'd got all the raw alived pictures of him and whenever I visit my gallary my heart starts to beat, tears starts to fall, mind starts to recall significally.


What the fuck is this, tell me. tell me how long would i ever take to ease this loss. My sweetheart, the entire house was about you.

When we ring the bell, knocked the door, you are always there to answer it. Even if I were to home 3 am, you'll be there.. be there to call for door openings.

When ahma wakes up.. youll follow behind her, follow to her wash up. wait for her breakfast and asked for some foods.

When brother is sleeping, youll go to him and smell him, then lie beside him.

When I wanna snap pictures of you, unknowingly co-operative or what, youll looked into the camera.

When we bite on snacks, you will come and find us cus u wana have a bite of it.

When I am lonely and have no one, you were my only friend.

When I study and do projects, you just linger around me, around the room.

-

All that I can remember vividly will never be able to come alive. Even its for the last time, my dearest BB , you;ll never come back-

I am so fucking sorry. I failed to protect you. I fucking miss and love you so much. You know . . this loss is so significant and painful. knnbpcb painful. jiejie wish you could come back..... jiejie wish to smell you again. wish to bring you down and play, wish to hug you to bed. jiejie miss every little thing of you. I miss you scratching your body, I miss you hating the sound of the hair dryer, I miss you sleeping on the sofa, on the floor, beside ahma, I miss you asking for foods, I miss your meals at 7am and 4pm, I miss your shampoo, your towels, your toys, your ledge. jiejie missed every little thing about you sweet heart.

This entire thing happened too quick. you could have a longer life span. jiejie could have you a little longer sweetheart.

Dearest BB, despite all that had happened, you know I loved you most... doted on you, play with you and is very thankful that you became a part of us , became ahma;s best companion, my bestest friend, brothers favourite pet, and family's joy. You became a part of us unknowingly over the years.

Baby, you will always be with us , even though this sentence is total crap but I hope youll remember me, my dear sweet heart.

Jiejie cant stop crying for you. I miss you baby.